Scratchpad

For anyone who happens to stumble upon this blog in the near future, welcome to my scratchpad. I have come to realize that I will probably never be a true “blogger” – at least not in the near future. And, even though one would think that this realization came by way of simply looking at the sparse entries made to this “blog”, that is, in fact, not true.

Moving to a new city and starting a new job has its perks: there are lots of new places to explore, people to meet, and customs to be amused by. But it also means that, unless you move to a place where you happen to have friends from your previous life, you won’t know anyone. And such is the case with me. It makes for some long, boring nights at home with nothing to do. In the wake of this reality, I thought that I would surely spend more time with my hobbies and interests – piano, art, writing…And two months after moving here, I have yet to spend any time doing any of those things. This frustrates me, as I really do truly enjoy each of those pursuits.

My frustration, of course, led to theory, and theory, well, leads me to this post.

I think I have to have a reason to do something in order to do it. I am now convinced that the only reason I play piano at all now was because of the 14 years of lessons that I subjected myself to. If it hadn’t been for that weekly need to avoid the shame and scorn of my teacher, I would never have practiced and would never have been able to play as I do. Five years after my last lesson, I play maybe ten times a year. I think it’s the same with blogging. I gave it a good effort, I did it for a little bit, and once in a while I would feel inspired, such as today. But really, there’s no reason for me to be doing it, so it doesn’t happen.

I don’t know why I operate this way; one would think that you would do what you enjoy doing, without prompting. But somehow, I don’t.

Which means that this will never be a cohesive blog. However, I can use it as a scratchpad once in a while for when the mood strikes me. I can also experiment with it to find a blogging style that I like, should I ever find a reason to keep one. So, welcome to the experiment. We’ll see what happens. :)