Skyscrapers and Spiderwebs

It's amazing what people will tell you. Something that I worried about before starting internship was being so dense that I would miss everything that was "happening" at the church. I really thought that I would be too blind to see all of the background politics that were flowing and too blind to see the veins of the spiderweb of relations there. But I was wrong. It's impossible to miss. These "spiderwebs" are more like skyscrapers with neon, flashing lights. Why? Because people just flat-out tell you what they are.

My supervisor believes that the church is the only place where people can work out their unresolved family issues. I thought that was an interesting comment, and am coming to agree with him. Not only am I finding out who (for better or worse) are personifying my own family members and issues to me, but I am learning who the "parents" of this congregation are - not by their actions, but by the various "children" literally telling me who they are. The "grandparents" are especially interesting, as they are the ones who used to run the show, but now find themselves in this peculiar time of life where they have been left behind by their children, are still in great need of belonging and having something to contribute yet feeling that they've already done their part, and finding themselves incapable of doing what they once did. The young ones aren't taken seriously. And the middle-aged ones are so lost as to how to balance their life and their faith that they continue to act and act and act, all the while never knowing what it is that they're doing. It's absolutely fascinating. And terrifying. All at the same time.

It's so crazy to me that the church manages to stay together. In just the past week, I have talked with people who (because of their life circumstances) need worship to be one way. Another person (with equally compelling reasons) needs worship to be almost the exact opposite. One person feels entirely left out of the community and is crying out; not for attention to be specifically placed on her, but for "others" to create a better sense of "community". Another needs to be left alone and can't understand this woman's need for a defined place. And yet somehow, all of these people come together and call ACB home. All of them arrive on a Sunday morning and expect to receive grace, forgiveness, and love - not only from the sermon and the service, but - from everyone else there. They all gather around the table together. Even though they sometimes come with deeply rooted fears, insecurities, distrusts, and angers.

I guess, in a way, skyscrapers are more manageable than spiderwebs, because they are easier to see and they generally have signs on them as to who built and occupies them. They just hurt more when you run into them.