The Hardest Part of Life

How does one get past their pride and their fear?

Theory of Everything

I find that I have a lot that I want to talk about. On the list today are: organ transplants, “graceful” interruptions, friendship, imagination, chaos theory, Europe, neuroscience, and the patience of fighting. They have come from the seminary pastor, an article (page 9), a friend, pictures on the wall, the odd fellow sitting across from me, and even a Harry Potter movie. Ordinarily, one would not think that organ transplants had anything to do with finding a call at a church. And ordinarily one would not think that neuroscience had anything to do with coffee shops. But they do. They really do. At least in my mind they do, which brings us to perhaps the one logical connection here: that chaos theory has everything to do with the state of my mind.

So I wanted to write posts today about all of these things, giving myself the opportunity to form into words all of the wisdom that has been given to me today. But as they accumulated, perhaps a “greater” wisdom was found: that there is a great deal of sustenance to be found in the everyday workings of life. Or that my mind works on overload to analyze the small things – I haven’t quite decided which of those two things it is yet. But for now, I’ll assume that at least the former is true and assert that the things that bring life and faith and imagination are the very ordinary things of each day. It’s not so much that I “learned” something today, although I could certainly say that as well. But it wasn’t learning in the sense of acquired knowledge – it was more that I was reminded of things I already knew, but had temporarily forgotten. And I heard thoughts that helped me rearrange how I viewed certain parts of my life. And I have found these reminders and “vision adjusters” to be the catalysts of my continued hope, motivation, imagination, and peace. Or, in other words, the catalysts of my sustenance.

So praise God for the man in white tube socks, untied black shoes, blue shorts, and fleece jacket who sits in the coffee shop trying finger-meditation-exercises while reading How God Changes Your Brain. Because it is this man - or really the presence and observance of this type of man - that prompts these musings and makes life interesting.

An Encounter with Moldova

Every once in a while – ok, a lot more than that – but every once in a while I’m reminded about how I wish I were better at languages than I am. Or rather that I were more dedicated in learning them. There was a man who came into the campus center today trying to find some papers that had been recycled that shouldn’t have been. He couldn’t have been more than sixty, but had gray and greasy hair –that he was definitely losing, he hadn’t bothered to take the size sticker off of his pants, his glasses only had one ear piece, and I saw only two teeth – one of which, was silver. He was from Moldova, but came to the U.S. ten years ago when he married his wife, who had been a missionary there. His English was good, but he obviously had to think about it.

Now, it can be tricky to try and speak Russian with anyone from a former territory, based purely on the generally unhappy memories that it triggers, but it’s also sometimes nice to be able to speak with someone in a language that they’re likely more comfortable with. And while Moldovans don’t technically speak Russian, they were under Russian and Soviet rule for much of their history. Plus, some of the words that came out as he was thinking were Russian, so it would have been nice to at least see how it would have worked to try to speak to him. But, I haven’t spoken any substantial Russian for five years, so that wasn’t really an option.

Unaware of my inner dialogue, the man talked with me as he was searching through paper about what prayer does, about how culture and society and psychology affect our theology, about Serbia and Slovenia, and about how one should email themselves with information they want instead of writing it on paper that can get lost. And then as he was leaving I was finally able to get out “good day” in Russian to him. He walked out the door, then came back and started asking me – in Russian – if I spoke the language. I answered in English, but he continued to ask me simple questions in Russian, apparently delighted that I knew anything. And he then went on to talk some more about Eastern European history and how there were different websites where I could practice Russian. And somewhere in there he managed to flip into German…prompting a whole other discussion.

I enjoy these earth-wandering types. And I tend to run into them a lot. My Russian helped in talking to my next-door neighbor several years ago who spoke no English, and also with local customers who came into my Starbucks . My German not only ended up getting me out of stranded and frustrating situations in Turkey, Italy, and Denmark, but it helps in conversation with the guy who manages the convenience store on the corner here. And I have close friends who are fluent in both. It’s not just in far-off lands that these languages show up – they’ve been in the middle of the communities I live in here in the States. So one would think that, by this point in my life, it would have sunk in that it would be helpful to actually learn these languages that I’ve started. But it hasn’t. Not really, anyway. I’ll go home, look at the textbooks, find the words and grammar charts slightly amusing and tempting… and then decide that watching movies is more fun.

Green as Carrots

So my question was: “going green…is it trendy or will it stick around?”. And so I will tell you about my neighbor’s friend. Now I should know the name of said neighbor, but I don’t. And I don’t think I’d ever met her friend outside of this one encounter. But apparently this neighbor’s friend was familiar with my trash.

In Germany, “green” isn’t really a popular trend…it’s more of a…commandment. If I remember correctly, there were seven different bins at our apartment – only one was for actual trash. Our office building was powered entirely by solar panels (and enough power was left over to sell and make a profit on). And while many people own cars, most rely on public transportation (at least in Berlin). Which is why, when the operators of these lovely modes of transportation go on strike, no one can get anywhere, because those of us on foot have to walk or bike across the city of 3.5 million to get to our destination, and those with cars suddenly brought them all out at once and created total gridlock.

Anyway, it took me awhile to really live into this “green commandment” while I was over there. One doesn’t really think a whole lot about these things while living in the middle-of-nowhere Nebraska (and really, it would be a lot of effort on the part of the rural person who wanted to be environmentally conscious), and neither college nor seminary really taught me the importance of it. So a few months into my stay there, I came out of my apartment and was greeted by this very small, very animated, and somewhat elderly, woman. She wasn’t really yelling at me, but was very firm and direct in telling me that I wasn’t separating my trash correctly and I needed to start doing that. I got a lecture, in German, about how important it was to make sure that I was doing my part for the environment. That meant, in this case, that it wasn’t enough to separate out pop bottles and paper from trash. There’s also compost, metal, other plastics, and…well, a few others that I can’t remember right now. And many, many more for the truly dedicated. Now, I have no idea how they knew that I wasn’t separating out compost and metals (tin foil and staples and such). And I was not the most gracious of recipients to this particular woman’s lecture. But it did make me more careful and more “accurate” with my trash.

So then I came back to the States, and found that no one really even recycles paper. Public transportation is horrendous, and I don’t know of a single building in my area that uses solar panels. So it’s a “trend” that’s still in severe need of some love and attention.

Therefore, in an effort to encourage one small thing people can do here, I’m going to direct you to the website of an absolutely FABULOUS organization called Carrotmob. Here, businesses compete with one another about how much “good” they will do environmentally if their business “wins”. Carrotmob picks the best store each time, sends out email notifications to you, the consumer, and then you commit to buying (what you would already normally buy) at that particular store. The store gets publicity, profit, and they help the environment. It came about as an alternative to protests, rallies, and boycotts. There’s a fun, animated video at this site and there are tabs at the top for FAQs, “about” it, organizing, etc. Check it out! http://carrotmob.org

Hmmmmmm

So apparently I haven't posted in about 4 months. Fascinating. So therefore, the first person who remembers this blog exists, is bored enough to check it, and gives me a topic to post on...that I will do. Hope your year is going well!

The State of Humanity

I sometimes feel as though I receive far more than I deserve. In reality, the only thing I have "accomplished" is schoolwork. In reality, the only thing I have "given", is friendship. Neither of these demand recognition or payment, hospitality or service. I am not great at anything, and I struggle (at least internally) through most. And despite often feeling as though I need to prove myself, I have received far more respect, honor, and grace than I could ever come close to deserving in a lifetime.

So a friend of mine was talking today, as usual, about the state of humanity - the state of society. He is almost always negative about it, fearing for the end of civilization as we know it. But in the face of yet another time of being humbled in the face of others' grace, I am unwilling to go there. There is evil in this world; I have come to expect sin. But hospitality is also alive. Faith is active. Respect is present. And it's because of this reality that I am who I am and I have received what I have. Humanity might not be on the fastest track to utopia (however that is defined), but it surely has an undying hope and drive to it. And for the individuals who have aimed, at least in part, their hope and hospitality towards me, I am profoundly grateful.